Behind the Bedroom Door

If I'm dancing...it must be love

Finding the right person can inspire you in all sorts of surprising ways.

Carpe diem!

My newest piece of art, by my very talented artist friend, Connie Rohman! Can you make out the letters? It's my life philosophy.

Love is...

rediscovering your own music collection through the appreciative eyes and ears of your beloved...

Two new old faves: Patty Larkin, Nancy Griffith

...to be continued.

Do you have your beach book handy?

Make it Behind the Bedroom Door, which is reviewed in today's Washington Post! Yippee!

The perils and pleasures...

of writing about your sex life will be revealed, tonight, at Bookcourt. I'm on a panel with memoirists Julie Metz, Sue Shapiro and a host of literary luminaries to talk about what it's like to bare your soul, and then some. (What I've found is that once you start revealing the deets about your sex life, people come right back at ya with theirs.)

Hope to see you all there.

Dying to write about your love life...

but afraid to wind up embarrassing someone, yourself most of all? Come to Book Court on June 17th at 7 PM for a panel on Writing about Sex & Love moderated by New School professor  Susan Shapiro with PERFECTION memoirist Julie Metz, Paula Derrow,and Cosmopolitan editor Ky Henderson. Reception afterward.

You can NEVER have too much of a good thing

Then again, I'm a hedonist. Take vibrators, for instance....

True love

Is my nephew cute or what? We spent the weekend together in Baltimore--a great place for kids--especially for a non driver like me.

Watch me read...in the flesh!

No, I'm not naked. I'm reading from my intro about my sex life--or lack thereof at New York City's In the Flesh erotic reading series this past March.

Sick of me yet? Then watch the lovely Pari Chang and Anna Marrian read excerpts from their respective Behind the Bedroom Door essays, Pregnant Pause and Under the Influence.

Want photos from that evening? Check 'em out!

Why sex gets better with age...really! It does!

Ever feel like you're approaching over-the-hillness, sexually speaking? Ever wonder what it would be like to be with a much younger man? Or a woman? Or...yourself? Then you must read this now.

The myth of "friends with benefits"

Can women really feel good about a friends with benefits situation? From talking to women these past two years, while working on Behind the Bedroom Door, I don't THINK so. Read my interview with Marie Claire's  blogger, who writes My Year of Living Flirtatiously. Then tell me what you think: Friends with benefits—yay or nay?

To marry? Or not to marry?

That is the question.

Read this to forget about the recession.

No, not Behind the Bedroom Door, though it would be nice if you'd buy and read that, too. I'm talking about this, which puts me in mind of my favorite Roman trattoria, in the Jewish ghetto, under the ruins of an ancient Roman temple, pictured below.

Best. Hair. Day. Evah.

And I even did it myself! (The secret was washing it at the gym, then leaving it wet through dinner, and styling when it was pretty much already dry, after the addition of mucho fancy hair products. Vidal Sasson, read this and weep!

A titillating literary evening--tonight at 8 PM!

IN THE FLESH EROTIC READING SERIES
March 19th at 8:00 PM
AT HAPPY ENDING LOUNGE, 302 BROOME STREET, NYC
(B/D to Grand, J/M/Z to Bowery, F to Delancey or F/V to 2nd Avenue,
Admission: Free, 21+
Happy Ending Lounge: 212-334-9676

March brings an eclectic mix of true sex stories, erotic romance, hotel sex, a graphic novelist and a former Jehovah’s Witness to In The Flesh! Featuring Paula Derrow, editor of the anthology Behind the Bedroom Door, along with contributors Anna Marrian and Pari Chang, graphic novelist Koren Shadmi, author of the fabulously titled In The Flesh, memoirist and former Jehovah’s Witness Kyria Abrahams (I’m Perfect, You’re Doomed), first-time novelist Victoria Janssen (The Duchess, Her Maid, the Groom and Their Lover) and Tess Danesi and In The Flesh host/curator Rachel Kramer Bussel reading from Rachel’s latest anthology Do Not Disturb: Hotel Sex Stories. The Do Not Disturb book trailer will also be shown. Mobile Libris will be selling copies of the authors’ books. Free candy and cupcakes will be served.

In the Flesh is a monthly reading series hosted at the appropriately named Happy Ending Lounge, and features the city's best erotic writers sharing stories to get you hot and bothered, hosted and curated by acclaimed erotic writer and editor Rachel Kramer Bussel. From erotic poetry to down and dirty smut, these authors get naked on the page and will make you lust after them and their words. Since its debut in October 2005, In the Flesh has featured such authors as Laura Antoniou, Mo Beasley, Susie Bright, Lily Burana, Jessica Cutler, Stephen Elliott, Valerie Frankel, Polly Frost, Gael Greene, Andy Horwitz, Debra Hyde, Maxim Jakubowski, Emily Scarlet Kramer of CAKE, Josh Kilmer-Purcell, Edith Layton, Logan Levkoff, Suzanne Portnoy, Sofia Quintero, M.J. Rose, Lauren Sanders, Danyel Smith, Grant Stoddard, Cecilia Tan, Carol Taylor, Dana Vachon, Veronica Vera, Susan Wright, Zane and many others. The series has gotten press attention from the New York Times’s UrbanEye, Escape (Hong Kong), Flavorpill, The L Magazine, New York Magazine, New York Observer, Philadelphia City Paper, Time Out New York, Gothamist, Nerve.com and Wonkette, and has been praised by Dr. Ruth.

An accidental roommate

I love living by myself--the fact that things stay just where I leave 'em; the ability to savor silence if I want silence; dance wildly around the living room if I want to do that, or just putter--my favorite thing. But I get lonely too. I'm a social animal (more social than most) and I crave company. Another one of my favorite things is sharing coffee with someone in the morning, and it doesn't have to be a partner (though that's always nice). That's why I try to keep my apartment open to a steady stream of friends and overnight guests--I don't cook much but I do like to feed people, and having someone to chat with when I'm still sleepy feels luxurious and companionable--it makes the business of getting to work and leaving the womb of my colorful apartment less onerous. Right now, I have a temporary roommate--MP Dunleavey--one of the writers in Behind the Bedroom Door and a good friend, one who was present when the idea for the anthology was born, is staying at my place several times a months while she teaches a class about dealing with money issues; she is also starting a new blog on trying to live a happy financial life for SELF--check it out. I get regular girl time with one of my best buds (and free money advice), plus my morning coffee with a pal. What could be better?

(MP and I had an impromptu dinner party for two last night. A big salad and Saigon Grill take out. Yum.)

Ciao--

Paola

P.S. Don't forget to come out to listen to Behind the Bedroom Door contributors Anna Marrian and Pari Chang do excerpts at the saucy In the Flesh erotic reading series this Thursday night at 7 PM.

See and hear the writers of Behind the Bedroom Door...in the flesh!

How can you resist coming for a drink and good sex  talk at a bar called the Happy Ending Lounge?
See? I knew you couldn't. Here's the  info: 8 PM, Thursday March 19th, Happy Ending Lounge, 302 Broome Street. Come here me talk about what it has been like to become an accidental sexpert, Pari Chang dish about what happened to her sex life when she got knocked up, and Anna Marrian reveal what it was like to have sex for the first time...sober. Be there or be square.

Has the internet affected your sex life?

Um, it definitely has mine. I was in a five-year relationship courtesy of the personals section on nerve.com and have certainly done my share of Internet dating since. I'm not much of a porn browser, chat room lurker or cyber-sex haver and I've never removed anything in front of a web cam. In fact, I don't even have a web cam. So while the internet has sparked up my dating life, and thereby my sex life, it hasn't been a gate way to a lurid or exciting or passionate world 'o sex. What about you? In conjunction with the University of Nebraska, SELF is doing a survey on sex and the internet. Take it now!

an oxytocin high

I got a triple dose of oxytocin this weekend--lots of holding tiny babies (one fell asleep on my chest), amazing conversations with a ten-year-old (she informed me that she was a "tween" very matter-of-factly), time alone with my sister. Oxytocin is known as the bonding hormone--it is secreted when mothers breastfeed and also triggered by touch. It produces warm, cuddly feelings of attachment meant to convince fathers and mothers to stick around--for their kids and for each other. I feel a deep sense of well-being and a new appreciation for family--that sounds like such a cliche, but it's nice to realize how lucky I am to have a wide net of support in a getting-scarier world.

Still stuck on my Valentine present

Question: Does it count if your honey gives you a beautiful red jacket he actually bought FOR HIMSELF (but it didn't fit) for Valentine's Day? I wore it again yesterday and found out that...I didn't care.

I have been pretending it was bought just for me, and somehow, that works. Does this make me shallow?

-Elizabeth (a Behind the Bedroom Door contributor)