Behind the Bedroom Door

Behind the Bedroom Door gets major press! Woo-hoo!

Check out two new excerpts in the current issue of SELF or read them right here!

And read today's review of Behind the Bedroom Door in The Daily News!

...and extraordinary moments

Sometimes you think these things could only happen in movies: a child dying, love blooming and a certain kind of sex I particularly associate with the big screen--ravenous, sudden, hungry, spontaneous, passionate and all together affirming of the animal and human spirit in each one of us. But I've discovered these things exist in real life, terrible tragedy alongside deep happiness conjoined with life-affirming-sex, sometimes all in the same day. I'm 45, and it's proving to be a year of momentous discoveries.

Ciao--

Paola

Ordinary moments of happiness

The transcendent stuff is nice, of course (that would be traveling for the first time, or new love and all the luscious, hormone-stirring emotions and impulses that come with it), but it's the everyday moments of happiness that make up a good life. Sitting on the couch with your feet in someone's lap, against warm flannel pajamas, getting comfort. Cooking dinner together. Dancing around the living room. Maybe that's actually the stuff that's transcendent.

I am going to Roma in T minus 10 or so days. Will it be under water?

Ciao--

Paola

Opening the bedroom door

One thing I've learned from the process of doing a collection of essays about sex is this: People are dying to talk about the subject. All I have to do is mention that I've done a book about sex in real life--the things we hesitate to talk about honestly--and people start spilling their stories in the most surprising ways and situations. Yesterday, I was at the doctor getting a blood test and I showed the woman who was sticking me--a 71 year old frosted blonde--a copy of the book. "Oh, I'm 71. I'm too old for all that. I've been married almost 50 years," she said, somewhat dismissively. Then I mentioned that one of the pieces in the collection, by Jane Juska, explores later-in-life sex: Juska has her first orgasm in decades when she is in her mid 70s. The instant I said that, the phlebotomist's face changed, she leaned into me, and said, "My husband is arrogant and impotent. I told him I was finished with sex. Finito. But I stay with  him because we are companions and he's good with the kids." Then, her voice got lower. "But a few months ago, I had sex with one of the doctors at the hospital. In all my years of marriage, I've never cheated. And I'm confessing to you. But it was awesome."

When it comes to sex, you never know. Don't assume anything.

Ciao, amici--
Paola